Updated: Mar 24
Welcome back :) did y’all miss me? Today I’d like to touch base on something that has been striking a nerve with me. We all know being a mom is hard and consuming. Am I showing my child enough attention? Am I doing the right things to help them learn and grow? Is my effort as a parent going to yield success or bring failure to my child? I’m constantly thinking about the decisions I’m making for my little one and how they affect him. So I’ll gladly speak for all moms when I say, we don’t need other mom’s telling us that the choices we made for our child are not the best choices. The controversy regarding one option versus another option for children is huge. Today I’d like to talk about 4 of the top things society is deeply divided on when it comes to raising a small child.
1. Breastfeeding vs Formula Feeding
Boob or bottle? Boob and bottle? The number one goal we have as parents is to keep our child alive and by doing that, we have to ya know, feed them. Breastfeeding is a beautiful thing. The bond you form while feeding your child is intense and it doesn’t cost anything. I challenge all mothers to try it if it’s an option for you. Although feeding your child the milk your body created is beautiful and has so many benefits, it also has some negatives as well. Ya girl lasted two weeks, 14 days, 20,160 minutes, and 1,209,600 seconds. I broke it down like that for y’all because two weeks can feel like a long time when you have a tiny human sucking on your raw, aching nipple.
So I give all the mommy’s kudos for lasting longer than that. The pain and the disappointment of not producing enough was not what was best for me and my child. The time and frequency it takes to breastfeed daily was not what was best for me and my child. Feeding my child formula was the best option for us. You can still bond with your child while feeding them formula. That bond doesn’t come from how you choose to feed your child, it comes from being a loving mama to your baby.
My formula eating baby and your breast milk eating baby are both getting the necessary nutrients to help them grow big and strong. Your breast milk is not a magical potion that makes your child start talking at 5 months and start walking at 7 months. We are both great mothers for making sure our babies are thriving. When it’s time for you to make the decision, don’t let other mom’s or society make you feel bad for your decision. There’s going to come a time when he’s going to start eating baby food so who cares, but then again society will probably tell you it’s better to make the food yourself rather than buy it from the store. We can never win. Noah will continue to drink formula and eat store bought food.
2. Screen Time vs No Screen Time
Do you know how many articles there are that tell you too much screen time is detrimental to your child? Make the decision that’s best for you and your little one. If you have the time to be entertainment for your child 24 hours a day, 7 days a week I give you props for sure. I think it’s a joke personally. Don’t tell me that if my child sits down and watches tv too young he’s not going to amount to anything in life. I turned out just fine and I watched tv at a young age. Does that mean my mom was a bad mom? I graduated college & bought a home and I’m 24 so I’m pretty sure my parents did a great job.
Noah and I watch movies all the time. The song Poco Loco from Coco is our jam okay. As a mom we are always on the move. If I have to do something I will happily sit my child in front of the tv to watch a movie or an educational show. It doesn’t make me less of a mother because I use the tv as a babysitter sometimes. If you don’t use screen time in your child’s life, youre doing great. You have a little more time on your hands than I do and I’m jealous. I choose what I choose because it works for my family.
3. Stay at Home Mom vs Working Mom
Who do people think they are? How dare you judge a woman based on if she chooses to work or stay at home? This one literally disgusts me y'all. I’ve witnessed the backlash on both options and people are very cruel. For me personally, staying at home with my child is never something that I wanted to do. Staying home during my maternity leave just solidified that I was not stay at home material. I’ve set personal goals for me to grow within a company and get into management. I’m too business oriented to choose staying at home to be my permanent position.
I was at a check up appointment after I had Noah and a nurse asked me if I was ready to go back to work. I told her that I couldn’t wait to get back in the office and she told me shame on me. Shame on me? Shame on me for wanting to further my career? Shame on me for wanting to be able to provide for my child and my family? I will not apologize for wanting to further my career and still be a mom. If anything I should be praised for it since being a mother alone is one of the hardest jobs I’ve ever had and I’m giving myself more work to do.
If you choose to stay at home with your kids, I admire you. Taking care of the home and taking care of the kids is a tough job and you are a very strong woman for choosing to dedicate everyday to handling that. I cannot mentally handle being a stay at home and I shouldn’t be faulted for that. My child is not loved less because I’m a working mother. If you choose to stay at home or go to work full time, good for you! You’re a wonderful mother either way and no one can ever take that away from you.
4.) Being a Mom vs Being a Woman
Who in the hell said because you’re a mom you have to give that your all and can no longer focus on yourself? I refuse to let being a mom interfere with the things that make me who I am. A lot shifts and a lot changes with motherhood but one thing we all need to realize is that we are mothers but we are still women. I still want to feel sexy, I still want to have intimacy with my signifant other, I still want to have fun with my friends, etc. I’m still trying to find my footing as a mother so I don’t have it all figured out yet.
Some women dedicate their lives to their kids and that is amazing and should not be frowned upon. I shouldn’t be judged for separating being a mom and being a woman. They’re different for me. I want to be a wonderful mother but in order to do that I truly have to be whole and I have to do the things that make me happy. I cherish my little one and I love the family I’ve started but my entire world does not revolve around them and I don’t feel bad for saying that. I’m a mother and I’m a woman.