Updated: Feb 9
Now I’m sure you all know what happens with the birds and the bees (some more than others) so I’m not going to throw it back that far. A little pleasure mixed with a whirlwind of irresponsibility brought me my little broke best friend. It was a life changing experience and I was so very humble to be able to carry a child and bring life into this world. What I’m not going to do is sit here and tell you all it’s rainbows and sunshine. That woman you hear raving about how fun pregnancy is and how she loves being pregnant is a L I A R. Don’t believe the hype! It’s incredible what our bodies are capable of but let me give you the real nine month experience in a nutshell.
The physical changes were intense. Now I was grateful for the extra boobs and what not but my nose spreading from ear to ear was ridiculously unnecessary. The big nose and the newest edition of pimples all over my face made a girl feel real good about herself,...did I mention the discoloration of my skin? My damn neck and face were two different colors and don’t get me started on how dark my armpits got but whatever. Your jeans won’t zip anymore, your belly will start poking from the bottom of the shirts you’re so used to wearing, and your favorite shoes won’t even go over your ankles. My advice to you is that you mentally prepare to go shopping for bigger clothes for your second trimester and your third trimester. You’re going to blow up like a balloon. Once you realize that you can’t control the changes to come, it gets a lot easier to deal with. I think the thing I did the most that no pregnant woman should EVER do was weigh myself. I knew about every half pound and full pound I gained and it was the worst so don’t do that. You’re supposed to gain weight so let it happen! Now we all know when you’re pregnant you’re supposed to eat really well and I agree to a certain extent. I drank a glass of orange juice and ate a banana every morning when I woke up. I had an overwhelming amount of water, numerous amounts of fruits, vegetables, and protein because you have to put your little one’s health first. However ladies, if you want that double cheeseburger and large cheese fry from Portillo’s you go get it because I sure did. The cravings are real and tears will form when you don’t satisfy that craving. Don’t listen to all the buzz about what you can and can’t eat. You make the decision that’s best for you and your unborn child because baby Noah and I messed Oscar Meyer’s beef hot dogs and french fries up almost daily okay. Protect you and your baby while also doing what makes you happy. It’s okay to still be a human while pregnant so don’t let the google articles tell you otherwise.
Just like any first time pregnant mother you do your research. My goal was to find out what the hell was going on inside of me, what I was supposed to eat, what to expect physically, how I was going to afford a human, etc. I searched on Google and looked at credible websites & recommended pregnancy apps to get the facts but I wanted the raw truth not the doctor websites telling me what I had to do. I looked at numerous baby forums where mother’s talked about their own experiences. I read blog posts just like this because it was real. I wanted to know what was headed my way by women who actually went through it. Speaking of women who actually went through it, my mother was the top resource for me personally. I know that may not be an option for a lot of women but reach out to your family and friends. That advice cost $0 and my pregnancy app cost about $3.00, save your coins ladies.
Asking for the advice from a family member or friend gets a lot harder when you’re pregnant because no one really allows you the opportunity to ask. The amount of unsolicited advice I got while pregnant was unfathomable.
“Oh honey, you really shouldn’t be eating that. You’ll gain unneccesary weight and it’s not good for the baby.”
“You’re going to breastfeed right? You have to breastfeed.”
“You really shouldn’t get an epidural. It can cause a lifetime of back problems. Do it natural.”
Those were just some of the unwanted pieces of advice I got. Don’t tell me what’s good for MY child, stop acting like a child who is formula fed is beneath one that is breastfed, and when you experience those contractions and you don’t want drugs kudos to you because ya girl got doped up. Now I know some people don’t have cruel intentions but you don’t get to tell a pregnant woman that’s going through 50 million changes everyday what’s best for her. I patted myself on the back daily for not punching anyone in the face during my pregnancy. The decisions I made during pregnancy and birth were the decisions that were best for me and my child. Remember to put you and your child’s wants and needs first during pregnancy. You don’t have to please anyone!
Speaking of pleasing (or not so pleasing) let’s talk about sex baby! Sex during pregnancy can be magical or actual hell depending on the trimester. Your hormones literally are at an all time high and my biggest piece of advice is don’t let the bump get in your way because we all have needs. Don’t stop until you physically can’t anymore and that’s an order!
There are so many changes in such a short amount of time and it doesn’t just stop at the physical changes. The bar was my best friend and not even just to drink but to be social and have a good time with my friends. Do you know how awkward it is to see a pregnant woman in the bar? I did it when I was 5 months but I didn’t know the arcade bar Emporium had an extreme bar feel to it and I felt so uncomfortable. If you feel comfortable doing it by all means do you but there comes a time when you have to realize things are different now and you can’t do all the things you once did. Now my friends loved the bar just as much as I did so of course I stopped seeing them as much because please don’t invite me to a crowded bar or a crowded party where someone’s going to bump me and I can’t fight them. Thankfully my friends are more than just bar people and I got to see them on occasion for normal events that pregnant people can go to but I will say that if I didn’t have my boyfriend or my mom, I probably would have been in a mild depression. I felt lonely sometimes because my life was so different than it ever was the 23 years prior. People say you lose friends when you get pregnant and the only friends I loss were never meant to stay. Pregnancy is hard physically, mentally, and emotionally. Your friendships will change and your relationship with your significant other will be tested but guess what? You got this, you can do this. Stay strong because pregnancy was the easy part. To get through the real nine month experience, you put your big girl panties on and deal with everything thrown your way. You cry if you have to but when you feel those kicks (or sometimes straight jabs to your ribs) remember who you’re going through all this for.